Oh My Darling Beautiful Love
by SupremeOverlordErin-chan
Summary: What happens if you take all the romantic cliches you can think of and put them together?
1. Tatsumi Hisoka

Oh My Darling Beautiful Love 

Author:  Supreme Overlord Erin-chan

Rating:  G.

Disclaimer:  Not mine.  Belong to Matsushita-sensei who would probably kill me if she read this.

Notes:  *twitches* I'm not sure which freaks me out more…the fact that this was my idea, or the fact that my friends encouraged me to do it.  PLEASE don't take this fic seriously, people ^x.x^ It's meant to be poking fun at romance in general.

Thank Yous:  Naomi for coming up with the word "goosh".  Bre-chan and Lauren-chan for being closet TatxHis fans with me!  WE ARE NOT ALONE ^O.O^ *waves banner*

Pairings:  Tatsumi + Hisoka.  Yes, you DID read that correctly.

Warnings for:  Severe gooshiness.  That is to say, gushy goo.  Sappy sweetness.  Goosh, people.  It's goosh.  It's meant to be disturbing—and it IS disturbing.  Be warned of this!  It's very disturbing!  It's sick and twisted!  DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE DIABETIC! …or at least, not without your insulin.   And don't read it if you're sane, either.

If you would like to archive this story on your web site, please drop me an email at littlevornskr@hotmail.com. I'll probably say "Yes yes yes I love you please do it yay!"

~~~

Hisoka looked at the everlasting blossoms that coated Meifu sadly.  For some strange reason he could not fathom, they made him feel terribly lonely.  He was lost in this thought and didn't notice Tatsumi come up behind him until the older man rested a hand on Hisoka's shoulder.

"Is everything all right, Kurosaki-kun?  You look forlorn," Tatsumi said, looking concerned even though he was smiling.  Hisoka blinked his beautiful green eyes up at the secretary and instantly wanted to burst into tears.

"Oh Tatsumi-san…is it always so lonely?  So isolated as a shinigami?  I can't stand it…even though I was used to being alone in life, why can't I stand it in death?"

Hisoka felt the tears welling up.  He tried to wipe them away, then found himself being drawn into a gentle embrace.  He looked up at Tatsumi, vaguely confused, but grateful for the contact anyway.  The older man had a stability that Hisoka could feel seeping into his own body and senses.

"It hurts because we're kind to you here," Tatsumi said softly, as he stroked Hisoka's hair.  "In life you couldn't feel lonely because the people you had contact with made you feel horrible…here, we're your friends, so you feel lonely because you want to be with us more."

"Friends…?"  Hisoka sniffled, burrowing his head into Tatsumi's chest.

"Mm, friends," Tatsumi repeated, noticing not for the first time how soft and delicate Hisoka was.

"Only…friends?"  Hisoka asked, sounding vaguely disappointed.  Tatsumi thought about this for a moment.  Would it really be smart to tell the boy the truth?  Everyone knew there was chemistry between Tsuzuki and Hisoka, and Tatsumi didn't want to come between that…but he'd been harbouring these feelings for so long, first for Tsuzuki and now for Hisoka…it was painful.  Perhaps honestly was the best policy…?

"Only friends, Kurosaki-kun…no matter how much I wish it could be more…"

Hisoka looked up sharply.  More?  Tatsumi wanted to be more than friends?  With him?  No, of course not…not with him…right?

"You mean…with Tsuzuki, right?  I know you love him, I…"

"I do love him but…he's not that one I was talking about."  Tatsumi said softly, and tried to get rid of the faint blush he felt spreading across his face.  Hisoka's eyes widened.

"You mean you…me…"  He stuttered intelligently.

"I love you, Kurosaki-kun," Tatsumi whispered, brushing a lock of hair out of Hisoka's eyes.  Hisoka blinked a couple of times, then threw himself back into Tatsumi's arms.

"Oh, Tatsumi-san!  Is it true?  Do you really feel this way?"  He could feel the tears threatening to come loose again.

"Yes," Tatsumi replied, holding the boy close to him, "I thought at first it was simply my feeling protective of you, but it goes so much further than that…I would go to the ends of the world for you, destroy all who upset you, be by your side through every conflict that reveals itself to you…"

"Tatsumi-san…"  Hisoka was now crying tears of happiness.  "I love you too!  I have from the first moment I saw you!  I was so afraid, but I'm not anymore!  I love you with all my heart, mind and soul, more than anything else in the universe!"

"Really?  Am I dreaming?"  Tatsumi wondered aloud.

"No!"  Hisoka shook his head.  "Not a dream, because dreams end, and my love for you will never end!  It will go on forever, even if you were to eventually reject me, I would continue loving you for all eternity!"

"Oh, Kurosaki-kun…I would never reject you!  Hearing you say those words now, I feel more complete than ever before."

"Oh, Tatsumi-san!  I can't believe such a wonderful man as you loves me!  Such intelligence, responsibility and charm…it seems impossible for one man to hold so much perfection!"

"Oh, Kurosaki-kun!  I am so humble compared to you!  So many people compare their loves to the stars, the sky, the ocean…I cannot do this, for none of them are even on the same scale as your beauty!"

"Oh, Tatsumi-san!"

"Oh, Kurosaki-kun!"

Bubbles began floating through a background of flowers as the new lovers embraced again, causing an unseen orchestra to begin playing soft romantic music.  The world sang along with it in the language of nature, and Tatsumi and Hisoka's hearts beat in time.  Finally, at last, neither of them would be lonely ever again.  How warm and wonderful it felt.

As the scene fades, somewhere in the distance, there is a small Tsuzuki-puppy screaming:  "What the _hell_ was _THAT!?_"

~The End~ 


	2. Terazuma Watari

Oh My Darling Beautiful Love 

Author:  Supreme Overlord Erin-chan

Rating:  G

Disclaimer:  Not mine.  Belong to Matsushita-sensei who would probably kill me if she read this.

Notes:  Oh god, I wrote a sequel.  Shoot me.  Shoot me now.  Torture me and kill me and set Muraki onto me.  Although he'd probably just grovel at my feet and tell me to never write something like this about him.  I promise this is a little less traumatic than the first one, though ^^;;

Thank Yous:  Naomi for coming up with the word "goosh".  All the psychotic people who actually encourage me to write goosh.  You freaks.

Pairings:  Terazuma + Watari.  Yes, you DID read that correctly.

Warnings for:  Severe gooshiness.  That is to say, gushy goo.  Sappy sweetness.  Goosh, people.  It's goosh.  It's meant to be disturbing—and it IS disturbing.  Be warned of this!  It's very disturbing!  It's sick and twisted!  DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE DIABETIC! …or at least, not without your insulin.   And don't read it if you're sane, either.

If you would like to archive this story on your web site, please drop me an email at littlevornskr@hotmail.com. I'll probably say "Yes yes yes I love you please do it yay!"

~~~

Watari peered at the chemicals before him intently.  Soon, soon his sex change potion would be complete!  And then he could…well, he didn't know exactly what he could do.  But he would find out!

"Oi…Watari, what are you doing?"  Terazuma asked, stepping into the laboratory.  Watari started.  It wasn't like Terazuma to come see him.  What was going on?

"I'm working on my sex change potion," he said.  Terazuma raised an eyebrow.

"Sex change potion?  Why on earth would you want something like that?"

"Well…so I can change my sex, obviously."

"But why?  I mean…what can women do that men can't?"

"Change you into a lion?"  Watari offered cheekily.  Terazuma huffed, and looked away.

"Maybe that's exactly why you shouldn't make it," he said, blushing slightly.  Watari blinked and looked up at the taller man, his eyes full of questioning.  Terazuma's face went redder, and avoided looking at the longhaired scientist.

"What I mean to say is…well, maybe it's better if you stay a man, you know?"  Terazuma mumbled.  "If you became a woman, that might change the way some people look at you for the worst…they might only focus on your body, y'know…instead of loving you for who you are and stuff."

"Terazuma…"

"You're really amazing as a man, so, like, if you became a woman, you'd kind of be…well, I dunno.  What I'm trying to say is that I think you're trying too hard.  People who love you…well, they love you because you're Watari, and every part of you makes you Watari…that includes your manhood."

"And who…who loves me because I'm Watari?"  Watari asked, feeling the tears welling up long before he was ready for them.  Terazuma looked at him, his expression soft.

"I…I do…" Terazuma murmered, his voice barely audible.  Watari burst fully into tears and threw himself at the pointy-eared shinigami.

"Oh, Hajime!  I had no idea you felt that way!"  He buried his head into Terazuma's chest, sobbing with happiness.  Terazuma felt his blush growing to epic proportions, and he gently wrapped his manly arms around the trembling man.

"Watari…you…feel the same way about me?"  He asked, shocked and thrilled at the same time.  Watari nodded, then looked up at Terazuma with sparkles in his eyes.

"Always…always have I looked at you from afar," he said, bubbles surrounding him, "I've always thought how beautiful you were, even when you transform, you're such a proud, noble creature…"

"Really?  You even…" Terazuma stared at the sparkling scientist, and then felt tears of his own rising.

"No one…no one has ever been able to say something like that about me," he choked, "I…I love you!  Stay with me forever, and never change!  Be yourself always, and be by my side!"

"Oh Hajime!  Of course I will!  Forever!"

"Oh, Yutaka!"

"Oh, Hajime!"

"Oh, Yutaka!"

Soft music begins playing as the lovers embraced with a newfound joy, not only in their new partner but in knowing that they are loved and accepted as they are.  Flowers begin floating around, pushed by the gentle wind that ruffles through the shinigami's hair, the sakura blossoms of Meifu swirling in a celebration dance.

As the scene fades, a small Tsuzuki-puppy is sweatdropping severely and asking: "Is everyone around here on crack or something?"

~The End~ 


	3. Konoe Gushoushin

Oh My Darling Beautiful Love 

Author:  Supreme Overlord Erin-chan

Rating:  G.

Disclaimer:  Not mine.  Belong to Matsushita-sensei who would probably kill me if she read this.  Kill me with my own pen.  Wait, I wrote this on the computer.  Uh...well, no doubt she'd be inventive.  (Oh god, my poor data cables!)

Notes:  Konoe/Gushoushin is my OTP.  Fear it.  Also, I will not be held responsible for deaths or illnesses—that includes gagging and retching—that are a result of reading this.

Thank Yous:  Naomi for coming up with the word "goosh".  Far too numerous people to mention who encourage me on these things—and who are all secretly fans of this pairing.  You know you love this pairing.  Admit it to yourself, and then join the revolution.

Pairings:  Konoe + Gushoushin.  Yes, you DID read that correctly.  And yes, I do mean Konoe-kacho, the wrinkly old man, and Gushoushin, the chicken things.  Yes, BOTH of them.

Warnings for:  Severe gooshiness.  That is to say, gushy goo.  Sappy sweetness.  Goosh, people.  It's goosh.  It's meant to be disturbing—and it IS disturbing.  Be warned of this!  It's very disturbing!  It's sick and twisted!  DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE DIABETIC! …or at least, not without your insulin.   And don't read it if you're sane, either.  Oh yeah, warnings for chicken love too.  But if you read my fics, you probably don't mind that.

If you would like to archive this story on your web site, please drop me an email at littlevornskr@hotmail.com. I'll probably say "Yes yes yes I love you please do it yay!"

~~~

The Gushoushin brothers wandered around the library absently, not really doing anything of substance but at least looking like they had things to do.  Gushoushin Younger hovered around the front desk, hoping someone would come in and alleviate the boredom.

"Ah~!  Kacho!  Welcome!"  Younger chirped as the wrinkly old man entered.  Konoe nodded and smiled at him.

"Good morning, Gushoushin," he said politely, concealing the feelings that rose within him.  Feelings like which he had never experienced before, feelings that he dared not tell anyone about.

"Are you looking for something in particular?"  Elder asked helpfully, setting some books down on the desk.  Konoe pulled his attention back to the present, away from those tender, feathered bodies that he longed to caress and love endlessly into the night.

"Ah, no, Gushoushin...I just..."  Konoe paused.  What was he supposed to tell them?  He couldn't admit that he'd come merely to gaze at their chickenlike beauty, silently worship their majestically curved beaks and tempting white feathers.  Merely being in the same room with them seemed to bring out an entirely different person within him, a person who was not afraid of his innermost desires, a person who did not care what others thought as long as those delicate Librarians were within reach.

"You just...?" the twins looked at each other in confusion, then at the chief.

"I just...came to see how you were getting on," Konoe said, internally wincing at how false it sounded, even to his own ears.  Gushoushin Younger blushed a little, the feathers around his face barely hiding the pink flesh beneath.

"We're fine, Kacho," Elder said, sounding a little flustered—or was that simply Konoe's imagination?

"I'm so glad to hear that," Konoe replied woodenly.  Oh, lord, if only he could tell them--!!

"We're...much better since you came by to see us," Younger said quietly, looking at the old man with an unreadable emotion.

"You—are?"  Konoe asked with surprise.

"Yes," Younger answered, looking down at the book of records in front of him as though it was of great interest.  Elder clicked his beak anxiously.

"Gushoushin..." Konoe whispered, his craggy face taking on the beginning of a soft expression.  As understanding began to dawn, it lit up the wrinkles in such a way that the Gushoushin thought was completely incomparable.

"Kacho," Elder began, fluttering upwards and touching Konoe gently on the shoulder.  Younger began to turn a little pink through his feathers and looked down at his records.

Konoe's eyes widened.  He couldn't believe it...it was almost impossible.  Did they really return his feelings?  Was the game of cat and mouse, was all the hiding of feelings, finally over?  Could he finally caress those feathered forms like he'd been dreaming of for so long?

As though in answer, Elder gently nudged his beak against Konoe's cheek.  Immediately, Konoe embraced his new lovers, tears rolling down his ten thousand year old face.

"Oh, my loves," he gurgled, "I had no idea!"

"Oh, Kacho," Younger exclaimed, caught in the emotion.

"Oh, Kacho," Elder breathed.

"Oh!"

"Oh!"

"Oh!"

Cherry blossoms somehow managed to beat the windows open just so they could float in at this moment, surrounding the new lovers in a haze of love and joy, where neither age no appearance, nor even species could halt the power of true love.  There is no music, for such a thing would ruin the true tenderness of this moment.  That, and the fact that all the musicians had gone home sick.

As the scene fades, amidst the sound of vomiting, a small Tsuzuki-puppy is screaming, "_OH MY GOD THAT IS SO WRONG!_" and trying to hide under a blueberry muffin.

~The End~


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